The hilarious JATO story that is funny every time!!!

Tailhook · Post by **Tailhook** » Sun Jan 28, 2007 9:06 pm

#1 Darwin Award winner of 1995: Scoring an 8.4 on the Darwin scale, JATO Rocket Car won in 1995. The Arizona Highway Patrol were mystified when they came upon a pile of smoldering wreckage embedded in the side of a cliff rising above the road at the apex of a curve. The metal debris resembled the site of an airplane crash, but it turned out to be the vaporized remains of an automobile. The make of the vehicle was unidentifiable at the scene. The folks in the lab finally figured out what it was, and pieced together the events that led up to its demise. It seems that a former Air Force sergeant had somehow got hold of a JATO (Jet Assisted Take-Off) unit. JATO units are solid fuel rockets used to give heavy military transport airplanes an extra push for take-off from short airfields. Dried desert lakebeds are the location of choice for breaking the world ground vehicle speed record. The sergeant took the JATO unit into the Arizona desert and found a long, straight stretch of road. He attached the JATO unit to his car, jumped in, accelerated to a high speed, and fired off the rocket. The facts, as best as could be determined, are as follows: The operator was driving a 1967 Chevy Impala. He ignited the JATO unit approximately 3.9 miles from the crash site. This was established by the location of a prominently scorched and melted strip of asphalt. The vehicle quickly reached a speed of between 250 and 300 mph and continued at that speed, under full power, for an additional 20-25 seconds. The soon-to-be pilot experienced G-forces usually reserved for dog-fighting F-14 jocks under full afterburners. The Chevy remained on the straight highway for approximately 2.6 miles (15-20 seconds) before the driver applied the brakes, completely melting them, blowing the tires, and leaving thick rubber marks on the road surface. The vehicle then became airborne for an additional 1.3 miles, impacted the cliff face at a height of 125 feet, and left a blackened crater 3 feet deep in the rock. Most of the driver's remains were not recovered; however, small fragments of bone, teeth, and hair were extracted from the crater, and fingernail and bone shards were removed from a piece of debris believed to be a portion of the steering wheel. Ironically a still-legible bumper sticker was found, reading "How do you like my driving? Dial 1-800-EAT-sh*t." The JATO Darwin was later declared an Urban Legend.

necigrad · Post by **necigrad** » Mon Jan 29, 2007 8:08 am

Something tells me that story isn't 100% true. That doesn't mean it's false though. I'm sure there are people, some in the military, some with access to JATOs, that really are that stupid. But hey, fully true or not, at least he soloed!

Post by **Gunner** » Mon Jan 29, 2007 9:45 am

You know you're a Redneck if your last words are "hey ya'll, watch this!"

Rhino · Post by **Rhino** » Mon Jan 29, 2007 10:50 am

No, its "Hey Bubba, watch this"

Tailhook · Post by **Tailhook** » Mon Jan 29, 2007 3:00 pm

lieutfunaki · Post by **lieutfunaki** » Fri Feb 02, 2007 12:45 am

necigrad wrote:Something tells me that story isn't 100% true. That doesn't mean it's false though. I'm sure there are people, some in the military, some with access to JATOs, that really are that stupid. But hey, fully true or not, at least he soloed!

Dude, you recognize that it says right in that post that it is an urban legend right?

necigrad · Post by **necigrad** » Fri Feb 02, 2007 5:35 am

Yeah, but I haven't been to work in months. I havne't been using critical thinking, so it's a bit rusty

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